I have found MY president!

I am a proud new member of the Fibertarian Party!!!

What can Dolores do for you? Please read below and than ask what can't she do!?

This was a statement to the press:

"Now, my campaign promises. Unlike the other candidates, I readily admit that I'm in this for the bling. Free travel by private jet, a huge expense account, my own office, and a posse of humpy bodyguards in suits and dark glasses? Betcherass. So just tell me what you want, and I'll want that, too.Let's get the ball of yarn rolling with a few suggestions collected by my press secretary, Harry.

• Elizabeth Zimmermann's birthday will be declared a national holiday.
  
• All fiber-related purchases will be fully tax-deductible.
  
• Knitting will become a mandatory subject in American public schools.
  
• Government subsidies for the establishment of independent yarn shops in high-need areas.

*You don't even have to live in America or be American. After a stay in the White House, I'm thinking world domination might be a freakin' hoot.

All credit goes to this man! He's brilliant!